Soccer Jokes For Kids
Once there was an Irish man an Englishman and an Australian who decided to have a competition.While on top of the hill each man had to chuck his watch in the air, then run down the hill and catch it before it hit the ground.
So the Irishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.
Then the Englishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.
Next was the Australian who chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill, went and had a beer, did the shopping, came back and caught his watch.
“How did you do that?” asked the Irishman.
The Australian replied “My watch is 1 hour slow !!!!!”
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Buckwheat & Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla “How do you spell ‘dumb’?”
Darla says “d-u-m-b, dumb”.
The teacher says, “very good, now use it in a sentence.”
She says “Buckwheat is dumb”
Now spell “stupid”. Darla says “s-t-u-p-i-d, stupid”.
The teacher says,”very good, now use it in a sentence.”
Darla says “Buckwheat is stupid.”
Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says “Buckwheat, spell dictate.”
Buckwheat stands and says “d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate”.
The teacher says, “very good, now use it in a sentence.”
“I may be dumb, and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!”
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This guy was walking down the road and he found this frog and the frog said “Kiss me and I will turn into a beautiful princess and I will be yours forever”. So he picked the frog up and put it in his pocket and walked off. Soon he came to his friend and said “Look what I found”. He took the frog out of his pocket and it said “Kiss me and I will turn into a beautiful princess”. He put it back into his pocket and started to walk off. His friend said “Stop, why don’t you kiss it so it will turn into a beautiful princess?” The first guy said “I would rather have a talking frog…….”.
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A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was just being the Ring Bear!”
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the blonde skipped up to her mum and said guess what mommy we did our abc’s and everyone could only sing abcd but i could do the whole alphebete “abcdefghijklmnop”is it cause im blonde mummy is it cause im blonde? the mother replied “yes it is cause your blonde”.the next day she skipped up to her mother and said mommy we were counting to 10 everyone could only count to 4 but i could count to 10 see “1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10″is it cause im blonde mommy.she repeats”yes it is cause your blonde replies her mother.
the next day she skips up to her mother and say today we were in the changerooms and all the girls where flat chested and i have these things and flashes her breasts she asks again is it cause im blonde mommy? is it cauyse im blone? her mother *sighs* and yells NO! it is not cause your blonde it is cause your 24
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